Hey, if you are reading this first off... THANK YOU! That means you cared enough to click on the link I probably shared via social media. While you are here I wanted my first post to be about what pushed me to start this blog.
Let me just get this out of the way, this isn't my first time blogging (GASP!) I do this thing a lot where I start things on a fly and think they are really good ideas. I do them for a few weeks and then I realize, "Oh whoops, this is much harder than I thought it would be and it's actually not what I want to do at all." My first blog was one of those on the fly decisions. It was a mix of fashion, baking and a whole bunch more things that I know nothing about. I'm laughing as I write this because, WHAT WAS I THINKING!! Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking.
I was following a lot of fashion bloggers and every day life bloggers at the time on instagram. I thought their lives looked pretty freaking glamorous [*side note- Shout out to Fergie for helping me spell glamorous just now.*] Anyways, I was following/stalking bloggers online and drooling over their seemingly perfect lives. I was at one of the times in my life where I was searching for the next big thing. Many people have pointed out this trait to me. Where my life is going good, on track and then nothing is happening for a while, I get bored and start searching for the next big thing. I thought maybe the blog would lead me to the next big thing... WRONG. It ended faster than I could type this. I did learn a few meaningful things from that blog like, what not to do in this one.
I was honestly super hesitant to start a new one because I thought it might end like the first one. I needed to grow a lot and switch my mindset to start this one. I know you are probably thinking, "Who cares if you do or do not start a blog anyways?" You are probably right in thinking that. For me it was more of a I CAN NOT start something, share it with the world and have it end again because the humility that comes with that is pretty painful. Trust me I know this all too well. I am here to stay this time I promise. It feels good to write that and know in your heart you mean it. Like I said earlier my mindset needed to change for me to hop back on the blog train which leads me to why you are sitting here reading this.
I needed to get my "Why" straightened out. Even when the idea first popped into my head to start another blog I had zero confidence that it would happen. My mind immediately went to self doubt. I was telling myself that blogs are for people who know what career they want, who have good wording, who know where to put a comma and where to put a period, whose lives are more figured out than mine, etc, etc. The cool thing is that all those self doubts turned into the exact reasons for starting this. I have no idea what I want to do and where life is going to take me, I have terrible wording especially when speaking out loud, my grammar sucks (sorry for those who are probably cringing through this), my life is messy and unkempt and that's why it's worth telling you about. If my life was perfect there would be no need for God's love and grace. This whole admitting my weaknesses thing is new for me. I used to and still do put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. I thought if I let my guard down people wouldn't trust me to be on the leadership positions I'm in, I thought I would be letting people down, I thought a lot of things that just don't make any sense.
This year God has invited me into a season of transparency. It started with my husband, then some friends and family, then went to some leaders at my church I respect a lot who encouraged me to then take that transparency to my small group that my husband and I lead/host and finally ended up with me sharing struggles on social media and reaching more people than I thought I could. It hasn't been a fun season, it's been met with a lot of tears, humility and a whole lot of community. That's why I'm here. I want to share how God is moving in my life, I want to hear stories of how God is moving in yours. If your life is perfect this is not the blog for you. In the slight chance that your life is also messy, unkempt and in total need of God's grace, then I'm your girl! If you stick around I'll be in here from time to time sharing my life with ya! The not so fun parts, the put together parts and everything in between!